Rod for back

Routine

I don’t know who created this: if it’s you please let me know so I can credit you/apologise most humbly for using it without permission

I have carefully, meticulously and with great attention to detail created a rod for my own back.

I have, at various times over the life of this blog, exhorted and advised on the merits of setting a good writing routine: of making creation a part of your day, of building a habit until it becomes harder to ignore than it is to fulfil. Over the past six years I’ve built an impenetrable wall of Work, the hours of which may have changed but its presence has remained unchallenged. Habits have become ossified. Paper has turned to stone.

Now I’m starting to realise that babies don’t work to schedule. I’ve left Paid Employment to take parental leave and my world has come tumbling down around my ears. I’m suddenly (and yes, I know that all this was foreseeable; I did actually foresee it, but knowledge and ‘knowing’ rarely run in sync) faced with the reality: I have to fit my work around the child.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It should be easy. Wait until she falls asleep and then hit the keyboard, hit social media, get on with all the things I should be getting on with.

But I have trained myself to work from 08:00 (or thereabouts) to 10:00ish. Now it causes me almost visceral distress not to be working then – for a given value of ‘work’, at any rate. Writing is medicine, it is sanity: by it I measure life, progress, and keep from staring too hard into the abyss of Failure. When I can’t work I get stressed and angsty and feel all the undone-ness towering over me.

Routine works: the advice I’ve given before still stands. Build your habits and keep producing. Just be cautious, be prepared: the unexpected (and again I realise that I have been in a perfect position to ‘know’ what was on its way: babies are rarely come as a shock outside the world of Victorian melodramas) might sweep everything away.

Don’t become so hidebound that when something comes from left-field the ground is knocked from beneath your feet.

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